A Familiar Stranger

‘Tis a mystery as to how my heart rules me,

Seems to my mind he defies fate’s every decree.

At once a perfect stranger dragged on a wild high

His is a familarly unpredictable euphoric cry.

A devilish dishonesty that leads me evasively,

Yet do I find myself exactly where I want to be.

His craze is one peculiarly odd and unafraid,

The same thoughts that built me can leave me utterly unmade.

His is power capable of eluding my enemy,

And said foe has no way of dodging this fatality.

His teachings make me see so many shades in a single leaf,

And in all grey clouds I catch even the faintest silver streak.

He is a lover and a comrade to my rusty bloodstained blade,

His is the touch I detest, but also the company I crave.

A/N: The image featured above does not belong to me, credits go to its owner.

Peaceful Disdain

Confusion, a mess, of a thought perceived clear as day

Must I be reminded of how white snow fell in May?

A frozen heart could melt, and black can lighten into grey

On a path with no dark bends, I was slowly led astray.

I was a blinded seer, a visionary inescapably enslaved,

My hand slack in his tight grip, and he a calm tidal wave

When I craved the light of the sun, darkness is what he gave

When I needed to shut my eyes, he made me fight to stay awake.

Hate his discretion, I did, but I welcomed the torturous pain,

For I heard she who walked on roses, by the deadly thorns was slain.

O mortal, why live, if thy efforts are all in vain?

For ’tis better to live in painful happiness, than to die with peaceful disdain.

Deftly Out Of Order

The paper was ancient, I could tell

It was strange, rather odd, but far from being dull.

The fact that this letter was adressed to me,

A person who got no letters, or had anyone over for tea.

The script was deftly out of order, a beautiful disorder,

In a way that the n’s were taller and the h’s shorter.

I knew that every one out of a hundred were crazy,

But orange is the new black, and a funeral is almost a party.

So what could go wrong? A small letter’s no harm,

I wrote my fear off, as a default false alarm.

It asked me how I was, the usual polite inquiry,

Then asked me to relax, to think of it as a diary.

There was no name at the end, just a signature of sorts,

And I kept thinking of its request, insted of burning it as I ought.

So I took a piece of paper, and wrote a single word,

It was the shortest reply, but I knew it’ll work.

And it did, for the next day, I found another one,

T’was reckless, yes. But just a knife, not a gun.

The Confessions of a Dark Life

They run, though not free, or wild

And I sprint after, for I hate falling behind.

I let the craze possess my heart and soul

And I follow them, blinded by euphoria, till I fall.

But when I hit the ground, there’s always a hand

One who paused for my sake, a person willing to understand.

Sometimes I accept, but at times I hesitate,

Wondering if my soul’s worth saving, or my lies worth the wait

Wondering if I am so weak as to need someone else,

Or if my decision to reject is just me torturing myself.

Often my thoughts are kicked aside,

And I am dragged along, but my bruises are what I hide

Perhaps the pain is what I deserve, for it always haunts me

Even though my blessings are greater by far than most beings.

My recoveries take long, but are infinitely short lived

Maybe what I take from the world is more than that I give.

I’ll grasp the heavy hammer and hit my walls of stone

One primrose among many, must I always bloom alone?

Even though the walls are gone and a warmth surrounds

I still feel cold and bare, within easy reach of the blood hounds

But I know that if I run, they will keep up the hunt,

Their speed and strength are insanity, compared to that of a runt.

The voices in my head tell me to bleed till there’s nothing left,

They tell me I have none except my self hate.

My sorrow is my darkness and my pride is my noose

And I know one day I’ll go under,

For I have no vigour left to break loose.

PS: The image featured belongs to its owners. I am only adding it because it fits with my theme

A Review of the Japanese play Twilight of a Crane

“One day, Yohyō, a poor but kind farmer, helps a crane struggling who with getting out of a trap. Later, a woman names Tsu comes to visits Yohyō and tells him that she wants to marry him, and so they become a husband and a wife. Tsū weaves beautiful textiles. Yohyō makes some money by selling it, but Tsū never allows him to look into the room when she is weaving. Sōdo and Unzu, money-hungry people, tempt Yohyō to ask Tsū to make more textiles. When Tsu complies, they and Yohyō finally break Yohyō’s promise and look into the secret room. It turns out that Tsū is a crane and she has been weaving the textiles by using her own feathers. When Tsū realizes Yohyō broke his promise, she changes herself back into a crane and flies away. ”

-Wikipedia: Junji Kinoshita.

Junji Kinoshita’s ‘Twilight of a Crane’ is a piece that examines the theme of love in an eccentric manner, and the unconventionality comes from the character play of the show. Romantic love, is ususally associated with two human hearts, but in this case, Tsu is a crane that takes the form of a human female, who falls in love with Yohyo. The characters themselves are quite interesting, and the text provides us with images of flawed individuals, leaving little to imagination. Particularly the characters of Tsu and Yohyo, when subjected to scrutiny, reveal some similarities and differences.

Tsu, is beautiful and pure, and is capable of showing great love, and understands the value of love, and struggles to stick to that image of a perfect relationship.

“I’ve been really happy wrapped up in your love and singing and playing with the children”

She is grateful to Yohyo for saving her life, and thus lives for him, and worships him. They live well together, and Yohyo loves Tsu with all his being. She is a creature with simple needs who abides by the laws of nature, and is thrilled by the little things in life. She is intelligent, as she learns the human way of life, and adjusts to her role of being Yohyo’s wife, really well. But she does not understand the language of materialism that is a significant part of human life and considers it an unwanted thing that corrupts and manipulates purity.

“They are trying to convert you into their way of thinking”

 She recognizes the evil in Sodo and Unzu right away and begs Yohyo to stay away from them. She is principled, and leaves Yohyo, as the wickedness in Sodo and Unzu begin to creep into him as well.

Yohyo too, is capable of extraordinary love, and kindness, as he saves Tsu, then a crane who was struck by the ignoble hands of merciless humans. He too is pleased by the small wonders of life, the little happy moments that are offered by fate. But as opposed to Tsu, he is a trifle ignorant and a little dense. He is easy to manipulate as was proven by Sodo and Unzu.

“I’ll go to Kyoto just to make a lot of profit”

He was pure at heart and simple minded before capitalistic Sodo and Unzu distorted him. Tsu always told him to stay away from them, but he defied her word every time until he was consumed by materialism, and it brought him grave consequences.

“I can no longer take the shape of a woman, I have to go back again to the old sky by myself…”

 He could not see through Sodo’s and Unzu’s deceit and continued to trust them instead of his wife, and that led to their separation.

Yohyo and Tsu, moved in sync with each other as, for a time, their hearts beat to the same rhythm. But Yohyo’s gullible mind and Tsu’s intelligence was the thing that set them apart and that difference led to the end of their relationship. Tsu’s bond with minimalism and Yohyo’s urge for more made them stand on two ends of a wide chasm that had no bridge to span the distance.

Deranged Youth

What does love know, that I do not? Broken hearts, and lies

Pained screams, played games and sorrowful cries

Nothing that cannot be drowned by a shot or two

Nothing a cigar can’t undo, for the sake of being true

So I walk down that path of the hurt youth

To the club, and pent myself on the ways of the crude

Regretting everything once the alcohol wears off

Hating my nerve and my desire to be tough

Hating the recklessness that makes youth what it is

The want to answer the never ending quiz

Of life in inventive ways and take the experiences

Up a notch, and forget about the differences

But just be that which people call young

All youth, no matter how sassy or high strung

No matter how broken, or how perfect

It is the same addictions that make us so wrecked

It is the fact that we cannot accept life as it is

Our pursuit for happiness coming before everything else

Always counting on our headstrong heart for courage

Well, that’s what makes millennials so deranged.

Pitiful Life

Pitiful life, is it wrong to fear you?

Is it so wrong to want to leave, because I do

For I no longer see the beauty of the sky’s blue

And I do not feel the comfort of the winds that blow

Painful life, I do not know when

Your injustice will end and when

You will cease to bring pain

To these delusional humans who hope, all in vain

Who claim that the moonlight shows the way

That light keeps the darkness away

That a little white can wipe the traces of black and grey

And that love and kindness will stop decay

Cursed life, I shall leave for it is my wish to be myself

Tis better than this, for in death one cannot lose oneself.

Tempered

The smoke burns my lungs, but I relish the feeling

For it is the only thing that is real, in this life with no meaning

For it lets me feel free, while I’m still stuck on the ground

I’m trying find love,but it seems that love doesn’t want to be found

I can’t break out of my bonds that ties me to righteousness

So I convinced myself that the only cure for my pain is foolishness

I grew out of my romantic imaginings, to face the reality of life

And I suppose it was different, and I couldn’t take the strife

I never learn from my mistakes, and I don’t listen to advice

For I know that all help, comes with a price

I know that I’m alone, and that I’m not what I should be

And I know I’m not interested in being what you want to see

Though I’m a wreck, I am happy for I am not in debt

Not to you, or them or to anyone that I have met

With the course of time, I learned to accept my fate

So I live my life, for late, is never too late

Love by Death

My heart renders me a memory, that holds a promise within

How your delicate lips formed a smile that held youth in it

How your hands felt entwined in mine with our fingers brushing

This will I remember, dead so much as I’m living

It is cold out here, but the breeze is welcoming

Leading me towards the end, as if it understands my feelings

How my heart aches to be with you, a love forgotten not by your leaving

Here, on this ledge I see you, and I do not doubt what I am seeing

You smiled at me that day, the last day I saw you breathing

I let go of your hand then, I regret, I didn’t know what I was doing

If only I had held you, now it wouldn’t be so hurting

But I chose not to, so I should bear my sorrowful singing

For my heart sings of you everyday,waiting and longing

But I resent you just a little for you left me not belonging

Where they confuse love with lust, in a world so unforgiving

And the boundary blurs between piety and sin

They confuse light with darkness and make all brightness dim

I was drawn to you as you were different from those beings

For where they saw black and grey, you saw reds and the greens

I loved you for your flame that burnt brighter than the rest

It was brighter than the sky, when the the sun dipped in the west

And ’tis my desire to see it again, so I step off this ledge

So that I can be with you forever and fulfill my pledge

Bird

How do you fly north without the proper direction?

Do you follow the wind, or do you fly towards the horizon?

Why does the sky feel so far away to those of us on earth?

With our feet firmly planted, unlike you, who are light since birth.

Have we not done enough in life, we wonder, to be allowed

The privilege of riding the wind? To be wrapped in, and be followed

By the love of our kin? Why must we fight among ourselves?

And turn the beauty of this world into infinite ugliness itself?

We stare at the sky and its children, whose wings

Seem to never tire of their long journeys, and their soothing songs

Lull the most wicked of us to peaceful and fearless sleep.

We build what we can, and we climb mountains so steep

To be one with the vast expanse of breathtaking blue.

But those creations of nature with no diction like ours are true

To their purpose, and they fly, and they live to balance reality and dreams

As we look to them and we dream, or for ourselves deem

Reality, and myth and we choose to live in our version of the world

Believing it to be true, though we see for ourselves we do not wish to be purged

Of our poor imaginings, and we continue to look at each other

And differentiate as extravagance and vileness but we do not bother

Ourselves with the plights of others and we live a tiring life

Contrasting to the life of peace that they spend and instead strive

To run over others and we take it upon ourselves tread down on

Those we deem to be lesser than us, wanting forever be on the spot.